Man, I forgot most of it because Jessica woke me up to go to physics. But I really wanted the dream to continue so I tried going back to sleep. Transferred to a different dream though. ):

I was doing something and I saw Alex Tran outside and he looked like he really needed a hug so I have him one and he wouldn't let go. It seemed like he was really sad about something but when he finally let go, guess who was standing in front of me? JLU. It was like the Christine moment. Like, I stood there staring at her for the longest time and when it finally ht me that Jodie Lu was here in SD with me, I was spazzing out beyond belief and I have her the biggest hug ever. Then Jessica woke me up and I realized I was actually hugging her. LOL, like, squeeze-suffocating hug.

Sigh, tried to go back to find JLU, but was put in some other crazy dream instead. Something I can't remember... Hm, it was very adventurous though. /:

Yeah... Right! Ain't nobody going to get chu that! - Jessica

I know what I want for my next birthday...
A motorcycle/fast&furious driving arcade game machine.

UOSB

So... Na shared this on Facebook and oddly enough, I actually clicked on it and I'm extremely glad I did because it was incredibly inspiring and whatnot.

Madame introduced spoken word to us in French last year but I never appreciated it until now. I guess, maybe because what Suli Breaks talks about is so relevant... He talks about things that I know and have witnessed, but things that I've tried so hard to avoid my entire life--things that make reality what it is.

Throughout these past few weeks, I've been doubting myself, my ability, my future--what am I doing with life? & I don't like to talk about this because it scares me and everybody seems to assume that I've got everything figured out because that's who I make myself to be. But in actuality, I lack balance and I feel as if I'm extremely unstable than those who openly admit they're unstable. Because at least those people have the courage to admit it. Well, the first step to conquering your problem is admitting you have one, right? Haha...

Well, as of right now (because I'm always changing, but never really that much), I want myself to remember why Suli Breaks's words had such an effect on me--ironically, in an opposite effect, I think. I don't have a dream. I want to help others build theirs. Because I think that's what my role in life is--to help others. & it makes me happy to do so too. So... yeah. Inconclusive, but still, I'm heading somewhere. (:

Thankful

Thanks for everything, Jessica. I know I can be a baby sometimes so thanks for nursing me and whatnot. (: You da best.

#becauseyousaidnobodysaysthesethingsinreallfelasttimeitriedtosaysomethingmeaningfulsoimpostingithere
^Have fun deciphering that.

Somebody invent a "Ctrl+F" for my handwritten notes, please.

Take a lap, Emily.

So frustrated with myself.
How could I make such stupid mistakes?!
I can't even articulate my feelings accurately because there's just so much UGH!
WHY.
For some reason, every minute I feel a different emotion and it's like I'm hormonal but I'm not! I was happy then sad then happy then sad... Now I'm just plain angry. I thought I was better than this.

RANTRANTRANT
Maybe it's all this unfinished business.
Maybe it's all this helplessness.
Maybe my period came early.
(Yeah, hopefully that last one...)

Progress?

They said, based off experience, it'd take approximately one and a half months until I get over it. Yay... Only one more month to go. /:

I. CAN. DO. THIS.
#stopthinking

"I'm a lightweight /:

Better be careful what you say.
With every word, I'm blown away.
...
Easy to fall, easy to break.
With every move, my whole world shakes.
Keep from falling apart.
...
Handle with care, please."

Forgive

not because they deserve your forgiveness,
but because you deserve peace. (:

Just keep swimming...

The Long Run

I just really need someone to tell me this.

#anchor

Keep my feet on the ground
But don't weigh me down.