Emotions

I had a nightmare, really. We were on a cruise ship and my dad cheated on us with another woman. I say us, because it really should affect my mom, but really, I feel like it hurt me more. In the dream, my mom was indifferent, didn't really care--the way I said I would be had anything like this happened because logically, your love couldn't satisfy him so he found another source of love. It's only fair, right? 

I don't really know anymore. I just remember being unbelievably angry. Like, imagine me spewing out expletives every other second at him and throwing things to physically hurt him for what he's done and doing everything I possible can to disown him. And the whole time, it was like he didn't regret his actions at all. He was still happy with her and I hated him for it. I could have killed him and he would still be smiling. Every single thing I did to him should have hurt him but he didn't seem like he was hurting. He was just kind of transparent; the pain just went through him and back to me, like a boomerang. And every time it came back, it multiplied my hate for him. I hated him so much that it still hurts, even though it's only a dream. (I have a slight problem separating my emotions from my dreams and reality. It's a really bad habit.)