The way my father speaks

We started talking about this jerkface racketeer and my father stated that he would take him out for lunch as a way of showing appreciation for all he's done for us.

Then, my big mouth came in and I said,

"Appreciation? What appreciation? He hasn't done anything for us."

His reply:

"You see, we--our kind of people--we say one plus one equals two. Right? One plus one equals two. BUT others say one plus one equals five. So, we've got to say one and one equals five. Get it?!"

AHAHAHHAHAHA... what? Not. At. All.