They say that when you dream of somebody, it's because that somebody was thinking of you the day before. You must have been thinking of me a lot. Then again, I have a feeling that I'm just making all of this up. I know I'm way in over my head, but would you like to hear about my dream? It wouldn't be the first time I've told you that I dreamt of you anyway. Try not to laugh at me too much, but here it goes:
--Well actually, I don't remember the entire dream--just the best part about it. I think I might've even smiled in my sleep. I hope I didn't murmur your name. That'd be embarrassing considering the fact that I sleep right next to my momma. Oh well, enough about what might've happened; here's what actually happened... well, in my dreams:
We were in a really big house, but we weren't alone; everybody was there. It was the usual group on just another usual day doing their usual things. Suddenly, a wave of courage and ambition swept over me, and for some inexplicable reason, I walked towards you and grasped your hand, as if I knew for a fact that you would grip back, and when you actually did grip back, I felt like I had just woken up from a deep spell. Startled that we were really holding hands, I flinched, but you never let go. Instead, you looked at me and smiled. Before I knew it, we were simply staring and smiling, hands intertwined.
We were all about to go somewhere in a bit, but I was tired and so I pulled you over to the couch and lay down for a nap. Without a word, you lay down next to me and put your arms around me, your body cradling mine. I turned around to face you, to look into your eyes for you to tell me that you've felt the same way for years now and that you're so happy that I finally approached you. But I couldn't. I couldn't bear the thought of you telling me that this was just a game, that you felt sorry for me, that you held my hand because we were nothing more than friends--because holding my hand meant nothing to you... and meant everything to me.
Nevertheless, I turned around and faced you--well, your chest. We both lay there silently, contemplating what could've, should've, would've, but didn't happen. You rest your chin on my head and put your arms around me as I had done with you. We fit so perfectly, like two last pieces of the puzzle that had been lost but were now found, and everything about that moment was so pure that fear of ever ruining it got a hold of me. So, I turned back around. You didn't seem to notice, and even if you did, you didn't seem to mind.
& with that perfect memory burned into my mind forever, I drifted asleep.So, maybe I'm just a little girl waiting for her Prince Charming and you happen to be the closest boy to him. Or maybe I'm just pathetically trying to feel something, trying to fill the empty void with your presence.
Regardless, thanks. You let me feel, even though it was only for a mere minute, the best I've ever felt in a while.
& maybe someday, I'll print out this letter, no matter how cheesy, slide it in an envelope, stick a Forever stamp on, and send it off to wherever you end up then.
But as for now, please stop thinking about me. I can't afford to live in these fantasies anymore. It's not healthy.
♥ Me
So, what'd ya think? Too much?
Oh,
P.S. It took me an hour to finally realize that this wasn't real; 'tis only a dream.
Hm, maybe I've been listening to this too much: