MKTO

Thank you.

Limbo

I'm walking aimlessly.

I'm too tired or don't have time to start the engine.

My goals are either too small to have any long-term value or too large to be achievable.

Yes, I'm definitely having a case of the Mondays.

Burritos unite.

Now that I know what "fiction" is (wow, I actually learned from my class assignments?!),

I can say that my writing is not really fiction, but not really nonfiction either.

It's kind of an inbetweenie. It's a thing.

Google: "define thing"

My biggest struggle right now is constantly seeking approval.

I feel like all my actions have one common goal: attaining someone's approval.
& I don't know who.
Maybe it's everybody, but is that such a bad thing?
Is it "bad" if those people are my idols, my role models?

I've been so unsure of my actions and "inactions" lately, especially when I find myself not busy doing something. I start thinking and overthinking and soon enough, these mini panic attacks / mid-life (hopefully not) crises overwhelm me until the point where I am incapable of doing anything else but becoming a burrito.

Burritos unite.

Emotional state: I think I'm PMS-ing so I'm incredibly mopey right now. It's a monthly depression.

I don't have a religion, but that doesn't mean that I don't believe in anything.

I believe that people's beliefs are a way for them to cope with life, a direction for the lost.
I believe in light at the end of every tunnel.
I believe in peace, love, and happiness.
I believe in the Oxford comma.
I believe in second chances.
I believe in people.

I believe that everybody needs something or someone to believe in.

glow in the dark stars

I think glow in the dark stars are special. They absorb and store light in the daytime, hiding in plain sight, obvious but oblivious to the human eye, then illuminate the darkness--light up our nights when we need them the most. They're like the friends that were always there for you but you never realized how important they were until they helped you through your darkest days.

I'm thankful for my glow in the dark stars. <3

I just noticed that the display on the clock app moves. Magical.

Imagine if all the apps were little windows and people jumped from one app to the next, just constantly traveling and keeping themselves busy. Would you watch their lives unfold before your eyes? Or would you simply ignore it and resume your life on your phone?

"All of us are gentle, violent; logical, schmaltzy; tough, squeamish; lusty, prudish; sloppy, meticulous; energetic, apathetic; manic, depressive."
-Writing Fiction

It's in our nature to be contradictory. It's okay to constantly be in conflict with yourself. It's what makes you human. (:

"First drafts are about discovery, not mastery, just l like the beginning of any good relationship." 
- Anna Joy Springer

I'll keep that in mind.

Everyone tells a story with how they look.

What story do I tell you?

I guess that's why I like to dress-up so much. Every day presents me a new opportunity to tell a story without having to speak at all.

Too bad most days, I'm a lazy college student. (:

Hopelessly wandering

The chemistry's there; the timing isn't.
The passion's there; the potential isn't.

Sometimes passion isn't good enough and that's life for ya.

Glasses

You could say that by the beginning of middle school, I was pretty much blind without my glasses.

Throughout middle school, I refused to wear my glasses unless necessary--necessary being to see the board in front of the classroom, to watch tv, to read signs a couple of feet from me. But I took them off the rest of the time. Instead of conveniently keeping them on from one class to another, I took them off.

No, before you suggest it, I wasn't ashamed of wearing glasses. I didn't care if people called me "four-eyes," not that anybody dared; as the tallest girl since elementary school, I'd just step on them. Like Linda taught me. But looks weren't the reason why.

& for some reason, this intrigued people. I told them it was because everything was prettier this way. Which was true for me at that time. All that I saw was through a soft focus, everything blurred, "bokeh"...

In retrospect, I think the little me thought it would shield her. From the ugly in this world. The evil. My refusal to wear my glasses on an everyday basis ensured my safety of not being hurt. Emotionally, more than physically because I remember running into a lot of things because of this. It was my decision to stay ignorant and soon enough, I realized it protected me from nothing. It only put me at fault more when I couldn't see things right in front of my nose. (Heh..heh... get it?) Anywho, soon enough, I realized what a detriment I was being to myself and finally accepted reality. Full of blemishes and uneven pavements and scratches and scars.

Mais c'est la vie et maintenant, je vois.

One of the reasons why I love words...

"No internet is better than slow internet."

Do you read this as:

1) There is no such internet that can be better than slow internet because slow internet is the best.

or

2) Being devoid of internet is better than having slow internet. (Maybe a better investment of time is to be doing something else rather than to sit in front of a screen and wait for a site to load and frustrate yourself and curse at nonexistent users and pull your hair out. Maybe.)

?

This doesn't happen quite often but when the opportunity presents itself, I find words to be extremely manipulative. You can read this in two, perhaps more, different ways. If I had said it aloud, the experience of of hearing the words would have been different. I would have raised the pitch of my voice and emphasized the "no internet" part, leading you to automatically assume the first option. But if I had enunciated the "slow internet" more, maybe you would have heard the second option. A reader reads in his own voice and who you are shapes what you perceive as a reader.

I wish I could describe this to you more eloquently as a writer. In due time.